Goodbye
by GrandiloquentHeartlessness
Summary: She tries to convey the apology she can't bear to put into words, and he clings to her like a lifeline, trying not to face the reality that he's losing her, has already lost her. Set just before the end of London Calling. M to be safe, but not explicit.


**A/N:** I was working on Happy Birthday (the chaptered Jommy story I've been writing for almost three years) and this popped into my head and wouldn't leave. Set after the concert in London Calling, but before Jude actually leaves. Review, and if you like this story, check my other ones out. But please don't ask me to continue this story. It's a one shot, and it's going to stay that way.

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><p>She rings his doorbell, panic rising in her chest, not knowing how she can possibly do this. He opens the door. He's frowning, his fists clenched at his sides, but he lets her in. In his apartment things are broken and knocked over in the anger he uses to keep from facing the pain. There's a bottle of scotch on the coffee table, but it's still early in his downward spiral, and he isn't drunk yet, having only had a few swallows before she came.<p>

She looks into his face. His eyes are red, and she can practically feel the pain radiating from him and the heart she's broken. Tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but she fights them back, places a hand on his cheek, says his name, softly. His breathing is ragged, and he's so close to breaking apart.

It's killing her, seeing him like this, even worse knowing she's causing it, and the tears are becoming harder to fight, stinging her nose and closing up her throat. She can't stand the pain in his blue eyes anymore, so she kisses him, and he kisses back fiercely, slamming her against the wall and pressing their bodies together. She moans and desperately removes his shirt, tearing off buttons in the process. Their clothing ends up flung to who knows where as they race feverishly to feel skin on skin. He pulls her to his room and they crash down together on the bed.

The tears flow freely from her eyes as they make love for the last time. With her body she tries to convey the apology she can't bear to put into words, and he clings to her like a lifeline, trying not to face the reality that he's losing her, has already lost her. In the past he's always been gentle with her, but she's hurt him so badly and part of him is so _angry_ at her now. The anger makes him rough, more violent than she's used to, but she isn't complaining. She trembles in his arms, writhes beneath him and cries out. They've forgotten where they are, who they are, they're burning up together and she can't tell where his flesh stops and hers begins.

And then it's over, the burning fades, and he's left just holding her. They're both crying now, his tears getting lost in her hair as her body is racked with quiet sobs. His anger is gone, and he kisses the top of her head and whispers again and again that it's alright, even though it isn't. He strokes her hair and they lay there in each other's arms for what seems simultaneously like a lifetime and like not nearly long enough.

She wants to stay there forever, but it's late, and she has a flight to catch in the morning. She quietly extricates herself, but he protests, grabbing her waist, and she gives in again. He manages to pull her back once, twice more before he eventually has to let her leave to retrieve her clothes. He gets dressed too, follows her to the door, and doesn't say a word as she places a hand on the doorknob, opening the door slowly. His eyes are boring into her back and her resolve is slipping, everything in her screaming not to go. She freezes in the doorway, and almost turns around and embraces him, cries that she didn't mean it and she needs him with her forever and ever and ever. For a second she can't fathom why she'd ever let him go, but then she looks at the ring that's still on her left hand, and she remembers how unstable they'd be, remembers her career, that she's barely nineteen, thinks of the rock star life she deserves to live. She summons her willpower and carefully removes the ring, turning and grabbing Tommy's hand, placing the ring in his palm, and gently folding his fingers around it. His tears have all been used up, but he gasps a little as his heart shatters for good. He stares into her face, his eyes begging for her to stay, and she almost succumbs again. She manages not to, however, pressing her forehead against his, stroking the side of his face, and whispering "Goodbye, Tommy" before turning and walking out of his apartment for the last time.


End file.
